I’ve shared multiple versions of this poem over the years, and I’m presenting this latest revision today in response to the call from Ingrid, today’s host over at the dVerse Poets Pub, for some concrete imagery…
———[||]———
CARLOS
I dreamed about you again
after all these years, Carlos;
dreamed of our midnight ramble,
of the suitcase we found, empty,
awaiting our roadside treasures.
We’re seventeen, we stop to take
a long and second look at each
and every item. We recognize
ourselves, and each the other
with what we find along the way,
with what we choose to keep:
a torn corner of a lost map, a red mop wig,
a mannequin’s head, featureless, with eyelashes;
a battered and rusty pipejoint.
I wake and look around me.
Everything has been stolen.
My suitcase is empty now.
Winter’s in the house.
—————[|||]—————
dVerse Poets Pub
Tuesday Poetics
~ Concrete / Abstract ~
———[||]———
This is just stellar, all those items of the suitcase are a story in itself.
this week’s poetmaster will be after you. I think dream was in the list of words we cannot use. Oh, both, it’s a great poem!
* Oh bother, that is
And yet it seems like just yesterday…(K)
Gorgeous, gorgeous writing here, Ron! I felt every word 💝💝
You are the master of last lines. This one- an icy breeze blowing me over. So good.
“what we choose to keep,” is a great line, followed by those concrete things that carry so much meaning. The idea that it can be stolen in the end, is chilling. So much to explore with “winter” and time here. 💕
That thief of all thieves has been afoot. Deep and moving Ron. Yes…
I love your bit of nostalgia Ron. Those were the days. Isn’t it interesting what we keep! A tale of who we are it seems.
Ron, I wanted to know so much more! Loved it my friend. ☺️💕
The sparsity of the imagery really brings the emotions to life, Ron: though it’s concrete, it’s dreamlike!
enjoyed reading this
You brought Carlos to life out of that suitcase – I could almost touch him in this poem. Very touching too!
I luv the tousle up of concrete images alongside the dream state. Very interesting. I think you pulled it off and stayed concrete with your listed items
Much💛love
Winter cold filling the emptiness. That image is so strong.
Ron, every now and then I pull an old and tattered box from our loft and carefully examine the contents ~~~ your poem reminds me it’s time. Loved it.
This is you at the top of your game, Ron.
❤
David