13 Weird But True
1. Whenever his truck refuses to start, he gets out and kicks the tires. The truck always responds with a maudlin whine.
2. His slippers follow him down the hallway.
3. Sometimes he becomes totally deaf and has to rely on the cartoon speech bubbles that magically appear over everyone’s heads.
4. Whatever he reads becomes a mystery novel.
5. Even though it’s common knowledge that birds don’t actually sing, he still hears lyrics.
6. Every coffee he’s ever had has always arrived in a monogrammed cup.
7. Morning air makes him itchy; evening air tastes like licorice.
8. Pens at his desk call his name and keep him awake all night long.
9. He almost never dreams, but when he does he dreams about sleeping.
10. He can never blow out the birthday candles.
11. Every cat he’s ever seen has been the same cat in disguise.
12. He makes random phone calls, but he always reaches his own voice mail.
13. All translations remain in foreign languages.
13 is a lucky number at the NEW THURSDAY 13