THIS JUST IN:

     Early, as yet unverified, reports just received and immediately rebroadcast by the local all-news radio station confirm previous widespread speculation that Santa Claus is, indeed, slated to come to town. Unnamed sources claim to have secured information indicating that he has not only made a list—or lists—of individuals he deems to be either naughty or nice, but that in order to avoid any untoward errors, he has checked said list at least twice.
     Many local residents, believing that this is not Santa’s first visit, claim to have surveillance camera footage showing him checking on them while they’re sleeping. These same individuals state that Santa also knows when they are awake.
     As a result, in hopes of currying Santa’s favor on Christmas Eve, many residents are making concerted efforts to avoid both pouting and crying—two activities widely believed to inhibit his arrival.

     Additionally, in anticipation of the visit, several local artisans have crafted original works to help raise awareness and to increase excitement about the event. Here’s a sample:

 

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