Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Lame Excuses

1. Sorry; I did not know she’s your mother.

2. It was like that when I got here.

3. Oh. I thought it was cheese.

4. I can’t tonight; I’m hyperflatulent.

5. But she dared me!

6. Sorry. I guess there’s a reason they were marked down 80%.

7. It didn’t sound like that when I bought it.

8. Orgasm, Schmorgasm.

9. I think I put the batteries in backward.

10. Smell? What smell?

11. I was lost in The Matrix.

12. Really, Officer; the one-way sign didn’t specify which direction.

13. Don’t blame me. I didn’t vote.

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Why would we even write these lists if not for our dear friends at: THURSDAY THIRTEEN?

12 thoughts on “Thursday Thirteen

  1. I’ll go with #11. I don’t think anyone truly understands The Matrix and it’s very easy to get lost there!

    And maybe add, “I’m emotionally sending each soldier an honorable discharge in a padded envelope so I don’t have to actually do anything to wish them a Merry Christmas.” Since the troops don’t choose where they’re sent, you don’t have to support war to support them, and I’m sure you agree that the brave kids who are spending the holidays far away from home deserve comfort and joy this season, too. 🙂

    • Nobody’s ever suggested that I don’t have soldiers’ safety in mind; and while they don’t choose where they’re sent, they did, after all volunteer. One supposes that every volunteer soldier knows full well s/he may be sent to some far-flung land to kill and/or be killed.

      I support the abolishtion of armed force as a means of resolving anything. Because it doesn’t.
      Enough is enough.

  2. #5 I use that one ALL the time. However mostly I am daring Sharon….and she usually does it.

    #12 I am married to a cop and he says that if you can make police lauugh and you haven’t been drinking or high you are more likely not to get a ticket. So trying this one and you aren’t drunk? Could work for ya.

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