Thirteen Lame Excuses
1. Sorry; I did not know she’s your mother.
2. It was like that when I got here.
3. Oh. I thought it was cheese.
4. I can’t tonight; I’m hyperflatulent.
5. But she dared me!
6. Sorry. I guess there’s a reason they were marked down 80%.
7. It didn’t sound like that when I bought it.
8. Orgasm, Schmorgasm.
9. I think I put the batteries in backward.
10. Smell? What smell?
11. I was lost in The Matrix.
12. Really, Officer; the one-way sign didn’t specify which direction.
13. Don’t blame me. I didn’t vote.
Why would we even write these lists if not for our dear friends at: THURSDAY THIRTEEN?